i like things: i like eggs

I LOVE EGGS! i would scream this from the rooftop (of a chicken coop, on a chicken farm, wearing a chicken suit), and then after i did that i would go inside and eat some eggs..... actually, forget about the syntax and flow of that sentence. let's just talk about eggs, okay?

eggs are a touchy topic. everywhere you look, someone is railing against eggs and spouting all their bad qualities, but i say enough is enough. eggs are here to stay, and you'd better get on the egg train before it leaves the station. mister.

people don't like eggs because they're high in cholesterol and are willing to banish them from the refrigerator for this fact before actually doing their research. eggs are high in cholesterol, yes, but it's saturated fats that make your blood goopy, not dietary cholesterol itself. it's complicated, i know. if you don't believe me, read a book.

people also don't like eggs because they're actually tiny chickens. i can see the logic in that. it's kind of weird, if you think about it really hard, but personally i'm not a fan of thinking really hard. i just like eggs. that's all. (disclaimer: we buy free-range hen eggs, so i'm really a good person, i promise)

reasons you should eat eggs:
1) they're vitanutritious. that means they're full of vitamins and are therefore nutritious. these vitamins include ones like choline (integral to the development of unborn kids' memories. ironically, eating fetuses is good for fetuses.), vitamin d, and vitamin k. eggs also contain all essential amino acids, but anyone with a brain could tell you that's because you're basically eating dna.
2) eggs contain carotenoids, which help lower the risk of developing cataracts. unborn cheepers are good for your peepers! haaaahahahah i should be on stage.
3) eggs are good for your hair and nails. they just are.

my favorite way of eating eggs is over medium. i like having the egg whites slightly goldened, with the yolk solid around the edge but yolky in the middle. or, if the yolk breaks (which it does, always), then i don't fry it for as long.

um, anyway.