i like colored animals

i often think about what i were do if i were god. actually, that's a complete lie. i often think about what i would do if i could do things i normally can't do, being a human and not a deity. confused? here's an example. if for some reason i was given crazy powers that allowed me to turn anything into anything else, i would turn some things into different things.

you know what? forget that horrible segue. the point is, i like animals that are wacky colors. like, not normal animal colors. those crazy birds in the amazon with the weird mating colors that apparently the female birds go nuts for (yeah, those ones) are great, but what they're lacking is the element of surprise. everyone expects exotic birds to be exotic, and therefore they lose their appeal.

"oh yeah, it's one of those birds of paradise. old news. just ignore him, sharon. he's just trying to be original."

but sharon, things that people AREN'T expecting include animals that SHOULD be one normal color, but instead are something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND THEREFORE MUCH BETTER!

like this dog.

before the dye job, this was probably just another annoying poodle/lhasa apso thing mix. but now it's purple, and i want it and won't rest until i have it.

these aren't real birds (surprise), but imagine if they were. they'd get all the chicks! (hahahahaha, i am so great)

madonna dyed her sheep (or someone's sheep) for a photoshoot she did or something. it was probably the best thing she's done since she brought back being a respectable woman who accepts her age and isn't freakishly built. oh wait.

this is amazing and i don't even care if it's photoshopped.

the only bad thing about dyed animals (yeah i know, there's a downside. i'm shocked too) is that i'm pretty sure it's not healthy. it can't be. i mean, think about what dye does to the human hair. now imagine that on an animal. it's totally different and worse, kind of. maybe.

just, don't dye your animals, folks. let them dye themselves.

lynx:
madonna's silly sheep
crazy dyed cats (ridiculousness)